Syracuse Sneaks Into Tournament Thanks to 100 Dollar Bill

Is The NCAA Making Amends For Boeheim Suspension?

Clickbait | Joshua Feinblatt | March 23, 2016 SATIRE

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Euphoria erupted for players, coaches, and fans of Syracuse Men’s Basketball this Selection Sunday when the Orangemen, who many predicted would not even be included the tournament this year, received a 10th seed spot. They have been proving their seed by successfully advancing into the Sweet Sixteen, shocking the nation.

Assistant coach Danny Baines thinks he might have a clue as to why Syracuse got into the tournament. “Well we certainly didn’t get in because of how dominating we were this year,” said Coach Baines. “Some of the coaches saw Coach Boeheim put a 100 dollar bill in an envelope and slip it into the mail. We suspect he sent it to NCAA, because he doesn’t like anybody in his life enough to actually give them money.”

Another assistant coach, Tom Welbeck, included, “We think he might have included other items in the envelope. We suspect that he might have also included a gift card to The Dress Barn, as well as coupons to Friendly’s. Well, I mean that’s how he’s paid his assistant coaches ever since he hit age 65.”

The Orangemen have done well with their Benjamin Franklin induced bid, racking up wins against Dayton and Middle Tennessee State to enter the Sweet Sixteen. Don’t get too excited though, ‘Cuse fans, the NCAA will vacate the wins in 10 years for bribery.